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How to save a relationship or your marriage effectively In life, I think every couple would certainly face some problems in their relationship or marriage. This is the stage where a relationship would be tested. If they are solved, the relationship will go on stronger. If not, it may be ended. When it comes to this stage, the most important thing is ‘communication’. Choose a right timing to communicate with each other honestly. Don’t keep it to yourself. You got to voice out your feelings. Both parties got to set the same objective to sort out an accepted way to take care of the problems faced. Each couple got to tell their partner what they are unhappy of, and then figure out a solution to solve it together. Both parties play a part to maintain a good relationship. Of course there are many problems in a relationship. It could be losing interest with each other, third party involvement, character wise, money issue, responsibilities of household stuff, children issues, daily habit or even relatives. By the way, you may want to check out this book. It is written by a lady who had been through it and saved her marriage successfully. So I think she is qualified to advise you on this matter. Click here now to find out more. Follow her action plan to save your relationship before it’s too late. After so much time and efforts being channeled, it’s really a pity for a relationship to fail without taking any actions. Well, the main cause of ‘losing interest with each other’ is the lack of communication. I once counseled a couple 2 years back who are married for 12 years. When asked what is their problem. Both claimed that their relationship faded over the years. They hardly talked to each other. Both said that “they have said it all over the years”. Well, it could be quite dangerous because all problems should be voiced out at the initial stage. If a couple just tries to ignore them, these problems would accumulate and explode after some time. These result in arguments and quarrels. If not handled properly, the relationship would be ended or even resulted in a divorce for a married couple after months or years. The rising divorce rate in many countries tells it all very obviously. You may question how bad the influence of a failed relationship or broken family is. I will give you a real life case study below. It affects the most to children mentality. Three years back, a male friend of mine who works as an engineer, he was 31 then. He told me his parents divorced when he was 16. The main cause is the third party involvement with his father. His father was a successful business owner while his mother is a high school teacher. When asked further, I find out that his mother was really upset and tried to solve it through arguments and quarrels everyday. Both got bad temper. It went on for about 8 years before they decided to file for divorce together. This guy told me honestly that he was scared and worried each day. Sometimes they even fight in front of him. Well, this is the worst thing that could happen in childhood. The mentality of a child is affected very badly because the lack of security resulted from his growing-up years. This could follow him forever till he grows up. He joked with me that his excellent academic results in school is because he likes attending school and library rather than staying at home. It is strange because most kids hate to attend school but not him. Well, he explained that his elder brother developed depression when he attended college. The root cause is due to the bad influence of his early childhood. As a result, his elder brother got to take mental medication promptly, or else negative symptoms such as serious suspicions, illusions and mental breakdowns will follow. He works as a tutor now. In fact, my friend also developed minor depression when he was in secondary school and college. His symptoms are self-doubt and lack of confidence in everything. But luckily he read a lot, and he solved it effectively through mental exercises he learned from psychology books. Close friends and religion play an important part to cheer him up as well. He got a younger brother who works as an insurance manager now. Fortunately he told me jokingly that he was least influenced by parents’ divorce because he found out as many excuses as possible to remain outside but home during childhood. And he could hardly find his brother since mobile phone was not invented yet. So my message here is clear. In a relationship, communication plays a huge role to maintain. Thus, take out some time to communicate with your partner each day. Solve the problems in the early stage in a peaceful way. Don’t let it influence your children if you have. Again, I recommend this book if you need to save your relationship now. Find out more while it is still not too late. May God bless you and your family. Yours sincerely, Joanne Lim Hospital psychiatrist
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